You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize