sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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