I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
