I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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