it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
