I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think my vagina is haunted
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
