It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
