my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
