god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
