Your tits are I can't wait for
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
