At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
