Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
