I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
