Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
