i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
