But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Randomize
