Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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