I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Come back. Shots need mouths.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
