Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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