You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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