I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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