Sponge bath it is.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize