Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
