Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
