i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize