We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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