Sry I called you an 8
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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