The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's never too late to be topless.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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