It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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