I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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