YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
