I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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