I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
