To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
two words...techno handjob
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize