I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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