I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize