Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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