I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
This girl is more easily done than said...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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