Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize