the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
my liver is dry heaving
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
