The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
