shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
