Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
