I just cut my nipple shaving
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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