I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
