I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Too much gin, very little bucket
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
