thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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