How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
