In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize