just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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