Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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