This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
