That's when you crack a 10am beer
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
