i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
