I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think my fart just growled at me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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