Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
