i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
