Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
