when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize