My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
