Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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