my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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