At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
