please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
