your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
