I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You dont lie about slip and slides
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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