the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
