I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
