Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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