Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
