i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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