I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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