my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
