Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
