So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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