Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
