we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
