grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
