It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
