we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize