pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
