five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
