remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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