Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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