I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
