In the future we'll all be gay
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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