Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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